Thursday, April 26, 2012

Je ne regrette rien

Today I'd like to talk about age. I read an article about things a woman should know before the age of 30. I thought it was stupid and I couldn't really relate to it. I mean what is the point of this?  If it's supposed to make you feel better about yourself, how does it help those women over 30 who read it and just end up thinking back in regret? I think that nobody else should or even can say what someone else is supposed to know and feel. These things are so personal, and different things are important to different people. The most important thing is that you are satisfied with your life and with what you've done with it.

Age is a funny thing, because even that mean different things to different people. I have never felt anything special about age. I've always seen my birthday as another excuse to throw a party and I've never had an age crisis. I've always kind of enjoyed growing older. On the other end I have friends who have an age crisis every year and feel an anxiety about growing older.

Another thing about age is that society have expectations for you at different ages. At nineteen you are expected to enroll for university just to graduate five years later. During those five years or shortly after graduation you are supposed to get married, have kids, buy a house and a dog as well as earn a decent amount of money. You're supposed to visit your parents and your spouses parents a couple of times every year and pay a fourth of your salary in taxes (okay, I might be exaggerating a bit there). You are to take vacations to the Canary Islands and Mallorca and at 45 get a divorce.

Never mind being single at family events, where your grandfathers sister and your mothers godmother asks you whether you have a boyfriend. You answer "no", just to get those sad looks "don't worry, you'll find someone in time". When all you want to say is "actually I do have great sex and the time and money to travel and meet friends". But of course you can't say that, because your poor relatives would get an heart attack. What happens when you don't go with the flow? When you don't have the urge to do what you are expected to do?

I will always remember what my cousin told me when she got married: "Well, you'll have to hurry up if you want to keep up in my pace". She is three years older than me. I was baffled. I don't know why she assumed, that that was what I wanted. But then again, she has built her life the way that society expects you to... When you approach the age of thirty your friends usually start getting married and having children. Luckily for me this hasn't started recently, but way back. My friends started with these things quite early, so I haven't really gotten that sudden feeling of not being where I'm supposed to be in my life.  I wonder if that will change in the case that friends' weddings and children start coming along in a faster pace when 30 comes closer? I have a feeling it won't. I've always had the need for more. I always wanted to explore and experience as much as I can. I don't think I could ever settle down, at least in the traditional way. But then again, everyone has to build their life as they feel best.

So far I don't regret anything when I look back. I can look back and say that I've done and seen amazing things. No, je ne regrette rien, like miss Piaf would say...