Monday, March 26, 2012

The Grand Gesture and the Cynic

"Love is a many splendored thing, love lifts you up where you belong, all you need is love!"


This weekend I've been thinking a lot about love and discussing it with a good friend. I am a sucker for romantic movies and grand gestures. Sometimes I wish my life was like a movie, and that someone would sweep me off my feet. At the same time I am somewhat of a cynic. I find grand gestures klisch├ęs and feel uncomfortable when a man gets too romantic. Why is that? I've been thinking a lot about this, and I've come to the conclusion, that it's just because it hasn't been the right guy performing the romantic gestures. I know this sounds arrogant, but the fact is that nobody is good enough for me. My standards are way to high, and I know it. I am also aware of the fact that Prince Charming doesn't exist, but I can't help myself. Even if I try to reason with myself, I always end up following my heart. And that's when everything goes wrong.

I was watching this american tv-show and it involved an interesting conversation:

" - You're picking the wrong guy. [--]
- Listen, you're afraid of people not wanting you, afraid of people leving you, so you pick people, who it'll never work with, so that that's the outcome. They walk away, that's the cycle. You play out the thing that you don't want to happen, just to prove yourself right."

This got me thinking. Maybe this really is what I'm doing. Maybe I keep picking the wrong guy on purpose. And I keep getting myself hurt. Maybe the guys who keep hurting me have made me the cynic I am, but then again, if I am unconsciously picking the wrong guy, then ultimately I can blame myself, right?

The problem is I have no idea how to break the circle. How am I supposed to stop picking the wrong guys. And how do I know when the guy is right? Is it when the grand gesture feels just right, and not uncomfortable at all? Because there HAS to be a grand gesture.

And I still love the romantic movies...

2 comments:

  1. I just posted some thoughts more or less on the same subject, from a different perspective but you might find some interesting elements there. You're definitely not the only one trying to sort these things out ;)

    Access is restricted, you will need to sign-in. Direct link: https://www.murmuran.net/en/content/conceptualizing-love-relationships-in-the-real-world

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    1. I really can relate to the things you write about and I find the idea very interesting to commit to the present and not the eternity. You managed to put in writing quite well what I wasn't able to do myself. From my point of view, committing to someone for life is scary and unrealistic. Your aspect is very interesting and deserves some more thought.

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